Everyone gets anxious from time to time and it is a natural part of living a normal active life.  It is natural to be anxious before an important interview or a big occasion, and that anxiety can give you an edge that may help you to focus and perform well.  Anxiety can be uncomfortable but it does remind us to focus and to be alert and ready for action.  It is only when anxiety becomes overwhelming that it can work against us.  Heart palpitations, sweaty palms and shortness of breath are just some of the symptoms of anxiety.  If you experience these symptoms and you are aware of what is going on then you can reason with yourself about the situation.  If symptoms of anxiety are there and you are not consciously aware of any reason for it then you may want to seek help to discover what it is that bothers you under the surface.  Sometimes hidden trauma may be the cause.  The uncomfortable symptoms of anxiety can be very physical and are therefore relatively easy to work through with a therapist, to give you a sense of control.

There are different types of anxiety including social anxiety, and at this time of year with the December Christmas party season looming, the thought of socializing may be stressful for some people.  It can be  expected that you socialize with your work mates and you may feel you have little in common with them, other than your work.  If you could learn to take fear out of the equation you would be able to relax more and to be yourself.  Some degree of self acceptance would probably help.  We are often told that ‘self praise is no praise’ but a bit of healthy narcissism would not do any harm.  Tell yourself you are as good as anyone else, not better, but just as good.  Beware of the desire to have everyone like you.  What a boring world that would be but perhaps a bit simpler.  It would probably make life easier if everyone like you but remember that you do not actually need them to like you in order for you to live, survive and to thrive.

Ask yourself these questions:

Do you like everyone you meet?

If you do not like them does it mean they are bad?

So presuming the answer is no to both questions, does it mean you are bad if someone does not take to you straight away?

You may like someone today and not like them next week, so what has changed?

Your own personal world effects how you view others and the same applies to others.

Liking someone or not is just an opinion and an opinion is not a fact.

If you suffer from social anxiety and find it hard to mix with people, help is available to challenge your ideas of yourself and of others and allow you to be more comfortable in your own skin.


If you would like help managing your anxiety with counselling and psychotherapy, just phone text or email me to arrange a session.