It is a natural instinct for most people to want to procreate. With more high mortgages and high expectations regarding possessions and striving for recognisable success in life many people put off having children until they are settled in a career. Not that infertility issues are related to age but the big 40 birthdays’ years rolling by quickly add to the sense of urgency to the need to conceive. Every time a cycle ends it may it bring a sense of failure and distress. The fact that there are so many pregnant people around and so many small babies in buggies just hurts so much. There can be a lot of guilt as a result of these feelings about other women who are lucky enough to be pregnant. It is a wonderful thing to be able to conceive naturally. To discover there are problems is highly stressful and distressing for the couple involved. It can challenge and test your sense of identity and manhood for a man. For a woman the sense of femininity and identity is challenged. The experience at fertility clinics is naturally a stressful one, with staff doing their best, and involving a lot of expense, which may seem all worth it provided there is a successful outcome. The heartbreak when the result is negative was described by one family friend as feeling as if he had too much overwhelming emotion going around inside him he felt he could not even express it. Frozen in time with this mix of painful emotions such as disappointment, anger, sadness and frustration. It took two days for him to begin to put words to it and to be able to begin to talk it through.

These issues can put a strain on the couple’s relationship and can test the bonds that keep people together. Open discussion about these difficult feelings can be helpful.

If you would like to speak to me about the issues around infertility simply phone, text or email me to arrange a counselling and psychotherapy session.